In 2016, I posted a blog post on my old site about how to avoid making some rookie relationship mistakes in 2016. This year, a re-vamped, made over version of this post makes its debut.
If you are wanting 2017 to be the year of you and your relationship, make sure to avoid these 5 rookie relationship mistakes:
Rookie Mistake #1: Keeping it all in
“I kept in all of my feelings, and the weirdest thing happened! They just all went away!” said no one, EVER.
Feelings do not just go away on their own. Anyone who tells you they do, is full of it. Sorry.
THE FIX: Share your feelings with your partner.
Rookie Mistake #2: Thinking that the sex will “just get better..”
Thinking this is a tell tale sign that you and your partner need to have a really important conversation. In life, we teach people how to treat us. Sex is no different. If you’re wanting something else, something different from what your partner is giving you, ASK THEM. Its not going to get better on its own.
THE FIX: Set up a date night with your partner and bring up sex. I will actually be teaching about ways to start this conversation, and other difficult conversations in a free online master class later this year!
Rookie Mistake #3: Having the mentality that the relationship should be “easy”
To run away at the first sign of trouble…. It tells your partner that you are not ready for a serious relationship. Most things that are worth having, you work for. There are no courses on relationships in high school or college, our parents only teach us what they model for us as children, and relationships are HARD!
THE FIX: If you’re thinking things are too hard, maybe its time to see a therapist or work with a relationship coach to see if this is the best relationship for you. Relationships are work, but they aren’t supposed to be so much work that you have time for nothing else.
Rookie Mistake #4: Not having the kids conversation
Sure, talking about children probably doesn’t make for great dinner table conversation on the first date. But this is something that needs to be discussed early on, period. The faster you know where the other person stands on this issue, the faster you can break ties, if needed. Otherwise, you could end up wasting a fair amount of time when you don’t have to.
THE FIX: When you’re getting to know each other the first few months, just ask, “This question is not about right now, at all. I was wondering if you want kids in your future or not.”
Rookie Mistake #5: Consistently putting your partners needs above your own
Relationships can be great, since they allow us to access our more giving and selfless side. But this cannot come at the expense of our own needs and wants. If you are constantly meeting your partner’s needs, that’s WONDERFUL, but you want to check-in with yourself and see if you are meeting your own needs as well as your partners’.
THE FIX: Have a “meeting” with your partner about self-care. Ask them how you think you are at it.
Avoiding these 5 rookie relationship mistakes will save you many arguments, money on dates, and most importantly… they’ll save a little bit more of your sanity! Which of these are hardest not to do? Comment below or in our Facebook Group to join in the discussion!